Greetings Y'All from the Big Granny Smith....Noo Yawk!
The last few weeks have been all go go go, and has seen me make stops in Toronto, Niagara, Montreal, Quebec City, Boston and New York! Its been an awesome few weeks, and some of the highlights have been:
MONTREAL: I certainly didn't expect French to be so dominant here, all the signs and billboards are in French...quite a contrast from Toronto (even though its a few hours away!). One cool thing I observed was in peoples conversations, one person spoke in French, and the other would respond in English, and then they would swap halfway through a sentence! Makes it hard for a sticky beak like me to eavesdrop on peoples juicy stories!
QUEBEC CITY: Couldn't find anyone who spoke English...and of course the one thing I left in Melbourne was my phrase book! I find myself making words up half the time...saying English words but making them sound French! The city is inside a wall, and stepping inside the walls is pretty much akin to stepping back in time a few centuries. I got a ride up with two Australian women (thank got I lost them for most of the day because they were driving me nuts!). The girl who hired the car was possibly the single worst driver.......EVER (knocked a few years off me I reckon!). After leaving the road and swerving sharply on several occasions (usually because she was distracted by a view or something), I asked her if she wanted me to take over (pretty bluntly suggesting she was a woeful driver really!). She insisted she was fine (obviously didn't get the hint!), so as she continued to drive, I started drafting up my will on my phone as an sms. With snow on the road, I wasn't too confidant really! BTW, it's all coming into the coffin with me, except my toe nail clippings, and my Billy Ray Cyrus shrine....they are up for grabs!
BACK TO THE USA: I got hammered by immigration on my return to the US. Pretty much had to pull out every document I had, to show to this absolute dumbarse prick, who couldn't understand how I was travelling without working. After about 20 minutes of interigating me (whilst the bus waited for me, and despite him seeing I had a ticket out of the US within 90 days), he finally allowed me in.....I have sinced crossed him off my chrismas card list (life doesn't come out of a manual....fuckwit!). Security is ridiculous in the USA, even going to the Statue of Liberty involved getting half naked!
BOSTON: A really nice city. It has the oldest subway system in America. Obviously built by the early Irish immigrants who must have started construction after a guiness or five! No part of the tunnel is ever straight, staying up straight as the train moves, is similar to being a beginner surfer or snowboarder! You have to hold on for dear life as the train swings around the twisting tunnels! Of course, I had a drink at Cheers (the bar from the sitcom, no Norm there though, and Kirstie Alley was shooting another Jenny Craig ad I think!), and went to an NBA game at the famous Boston Garden....and later again to one at Madison Square Garden in New York....great fun (except for having to stand up for the US anthem...get bent!)
Caught a dodgy Chinese bus from Boston to New York for $15 (not bad for a 4 hour journey!). You will recall my pleasant plane ride to Vegas with the Japanese businessmen and there incessant spitting. Well, if they were the three tenors, we had the whole orchestra on this ride! Keeping them all in time, was a lady in front of me, who kept burping (she excused herself after the first burp....which I guess must have covered her for the next 40 or so!). Canada is so much classier than the US, thats for sure!
NEW YORK CITY: What can I say....it is something else...frickin awesome! It is impossible to get bored in this city...its always on! Started out staying up in Harlem, which is full of skinny African-Americans in big arse puffy jackets, loitering on every street corner trying to intimidate you! Luckily I managed to avoid the odds, and not get mugged! The hostel provides complimentary stab/bullet proof vests, a Harlem slang phrase book, and the lyrics to a 50 Cent track, so I was armed with the nessesities! New Yorkers are....'interesting' people. Have seen heaps of random verbal wars between people out in public, saw one guy go nuts at another bloke for walking within a metre of him (what an ego...bloody yanks!), and if your a driver at the lights, and the light turns red, if you dont get moving withing 0.056 of a second, you will get honked repeatedly! Even though there is a $350 fine for honking (as is signposted everywhere!). Its good fun around China town. I went shopping and took part in a game of haggle the vendor. Good fun....they buckle so easy!
Well, I am getting ready to leave for Portugal now, gotta go brush up on that non-existant Portugese of mine!
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