Viva Las Orleans

Yo Yo Y'all from downtown Toronto!

Great times at the moment, I just got into Toronto to find out that they sent my luggage on the wrong plane...so I sit here with no change of clothes, no contact lenses, no soap or shampoo...or means to even shower...hot hey! On the flip side...they accidently put me on Economy Plus (instead of Economy)...what that means is 5 extra inches of legroom...which means actual legroom! Much better than my flight into New Orleans, which had me wedged in between two very sweaty and obese people...I use the term wedged as the arm rests were not ergonomically sufficient for these particular passengers, unusable...solution...let them both rest on me! Thats 2 hours I wont get back!

Well the last fortnight has been a bit of a blur. It has involved Las Vegas (pretty sure I will develop Epilepsy from all those flashing lights!), the Grand Canyon (yeah, I can confirm its big!), New Orleans (not sure my liver enjoyed it so much!), and the Louisiana Swamps (Snakes, Alligators and the Ninja Turtles!)

THE LAS VEGAS EXPERIENCE

Vegas is ridiculous! Not even ten steps from the plane, and your confronted with slot machines...they also exist in local milk bars, post offices and are even embedded in the bars at pubs!

To start off with, my flight into Vegas was....whats the word....ah yes....charming! Had three Japanese business men seated behind me, methodically and regularly hoicking up flem and spitting into their vomit bags...just for the entire flight! My IPod was no protection from these awesome audio creations these "gentlemen" were making!

The Hostel I stayed in was interesting...no, dodgy is better! The area was the dodgy part. Walked past some blokes with big knives sticking out of their pockets...hmm, reassuring when they tell you you'll be fine! Waking up to an early morning drug deal outside your window was quite routine really!

The main Strip is pretty crazy. We hit up this massive club called Tryst (apparently all the celebrities go there...I witnessed more of your wannabe's!). Took us almost two hours to get in, mainly because most of us were not supermodels, or you know...female! Entry was at a backpacker friendy $30 ($20 for the girls!), and beers at the happy hour price of $10 each! Massive club though, 30 metre waterfall inside...just insane really! The Strip is a lot more spread out than Hollywood depicts....LIARS...my poor poor feet! I can now cross off the Statue of Liberty and Eiffel tower, Vegas has it all!

Once again, USA homelessness rears its head, in the form of beggars! They use a different strategy here though...they try sell you weed or crack! I guess a city where loose change goes straight into a machine, they have it all worked out...plus there is plenty of light in Vegas for them to be hortacultural!

THE NEW ORLEANS EXPERIENCE

New Orleans is a cracker of a city...and along with Mexico City, my favourite so far. Its mainly an African-American population, so the culture differs a lot from the other cities (being politically correct here...could have just said its full of Black People....oh shit, I just did!). People are pretty friendly really, and are proud of their city, and state, so a lot of them have never left, even after the floods.

The main part of the city is the French Quarter, which encapsulates the infamous Bourbon street! Pretty lively place, heaps of live music, some just playing in the street! You can just go a $2 bucket of beer from a vendor and walk in and out of whatever pub you like, and they close the street to cars each night, so its like one massive beer garden...thats my kind of system! Lots of the bars have 3 for 1 deals to get you to buy their beers, so getting 3 beers for $5 just scraped past the $10 vegas beer deals...I like those mathematics!

Had one guy claiming to be a Mohammad Ali lookalike trying to by us drinks...then trying to get us to meet people, then trying to see if we could give him $5! Random...I said sorry, I have no cash, but I wont take you up on that drink you were offering! He had nothing and left...maybe he should try the Vegas tactic!

On a downside though, there was still a lot of evidence of the hurricanes. I saw whole suburbs that were just ghost towns...most of the houses are pretty fucked. Think Broadmeadows, and multiply by.........actually just think Broadmeadows! Lots of the houses have graffiti tagging how many bodies were found still on them. A good fun city though, with an awesome nightlife and some ripper Alligators out in the swaps!

Anyway, gotta ring up the airport and give them hell, I want my clothes!

Mossy out.....