Greetings from my first few minutes in Madrid!
Things are rolling on well as I start the indefinite European leg of my journey! Living out of a bag, and sleeping on beds that can only be described as iron boards is getting a little bit tiresome, but being in Europe now is a nice change...there aren't very many loud Americans here, which is refreshing (excluding my American friends of course!)
The Australian passport has been packed away for the time being, and the European one gets its turn! Walked straight through customs like I was showing a season ticket at a footy match! Nice seeing as the non EU passport line was clocking up some serious kilometres!
Arrived into Portugal at 6am last week (effectively 12am NY time, so I lost a whole night!). Once through, I sat down to get my bearings and figure out where I was going, only to notice two dodgy fellas watching me closely. With all my bags, they were probably licking their lips at another gullible tourist to scam and steal from! I moved around the airport a bit to try and lose them. Then they sat a few metres ahead of where I sat, watching me out of the side of their shifty eyes whilst pretending to have a conversation! Very subtle, fellas! Jumped into a cab and left them to try it on with some other fool! (Oh, and cabs here are Mercedes Benz...none of those battered up Falcons here!)
Have been sampling the local food and drink of course. Went to a bar and had Mojitos (its a Manly drink over here!) and Tapas (comes with your drinks, and avoids the need for those hearty two minute noodle banquets!). Then there is Port (where it originates)...and at $1.50 for a whole bottle, how can you resist (unless you follow hindsight the next morning!).
The homeless here don't seem to move. Each individual one takes up the same post each day, everyday, all day. Its like they are an extension of the buildings! This spot is usually outside a bank, or a fashionable clothes shop that attracts people with money. Finding an ATM with an accompanying bum is a task. I almost hit one of the bastards when he started getting in close and hassling me for cash whilst I was trying to get out money...really wish I knew how to swear in Portuguese sometimes!
Double denim seems to be 'cool' over here! I'd put the ratio at 1 in 5! A sad state of affairs. Even one of the dodgy blokes who stalked me at the airport was in DD. Please...how can I respect a thief in that clobber...you were never a chance in that outfit sunshine!
Looking for a bite to eat can be tricky over here. Just a millisecond of eye contact with a menu, and an 'alarm' goes off, and a waiter is out there trying to hook you into their eatery. How can they all be the best, that's just what I want to know! We ended up going to a place that didn't hassle us and that was half the price...in full view of most of these waiters sporting looks of disgust! One of the best meals I have had though, so suck it!
Hit some bars in Lisbon the other night. The first bar was literally empty when we entered (a Tuesday night though). Even so, would you believe they kicked us out, because we wouldn't wear our hats backwards! Great business plan they have ! The next bar ended up being a strip bar. Many of the blokes in the bar, were accompanied by their wives and/or girlfriends...just a quiet romantic night out I guess...catch a show! All except a mysterious man sitting in the far corner, dressed like Zorro (Black hat, black cape, beard!). He had a different girl at his table every 5 minutes...speed dating with Zorro...Portugal is the place ladies! Once the grandma out front had finished her routine, the girls from our hostel started busting some moves to the dodgy 80's tracks playing (regarded as New Release/Top 40 over here though!), turning a seedy strip club into a dance club (still seedy though!). The leather faced old man owner, and his equally leather faced waitresses (must be a prerequisite for a job) weren't too impressed, but the customers were, also getting up and dancing. Zorro remained cool calm an collected in his corner, not batting an eyelid (what a cool bloke!), but some midget chick came from no where and started dancing on tables. Random! We left soon after! Not a moment too soon really!
After Lisbon, I bussed it up to Porto. I was seated next to a nun. Quite interesting choreography really, I was slouched in my seat, drifting in and out of sleep, hung-over, and she maintained perfect posture for the entire 2 hours, and barely batted an eyelid! Conversation was at a minimum between the two of us! Good of her to keep it down to a dull roar!
Porto is the home of Port wines of course, so we mingled with the higher echelon of society...for about 5 minutes each place. Being the cheapskate backpackers we are, we had our three free samples at each place and moved on to the next Portery! There were about eight of them, so we were getting a little loose by the end of it!
Have contacted the CSIRO to conduct tests on the mother of all snorers I had in my dorm. Literally the entire dorm relocated to the common room to get away from this guy. We are talking triple figure decibals here...and arhythmic! Really looking forward to the day I no longer stay in dorms with the snorers, the cheesefeet, and the ones who like to conduct conversations about greenpeace in their sleep!
It has been tricky getting by knowing only two Portuguese words (Thankyou and Apricots -so sick of Apricots!). I can also count to three!. Luckily one of the girls I was hanging out with is fluent in Portuguese, so I was able to deviate to other foods....whilst still being able to maintain politeness on my own!
Now my adventures in Spain begin, having just arrived in Madrid. Got a ripper bout of the flu now, which was totally compatible with the 10 hour bus ride here! The bus had no toilet either, so at each stop there was a stampede to get to the restrooms...so I can now tick off having taken part in the running of the bulls!
Well, according to Spanish customs, a siesta is now in order...I feel obliged to comply!
Till next time
Mossy out..
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
Goodbye America...Hello Europe
Greetings Y'All from the Big Granny Smith....Noo Yawk!
The last few weeks have been all go go go, and has seen me make stops in Toronto, Niagara, Montreal, Quebec City, Boston and New York! Its been an awesome few weeks, and some of the highlights have been:
MONTREAL: I certainly didn't expect French to be so dominant here, all the signs and billboards are in French...quite a contrast from Toronto (even though its a few hours away!). One cool thing I observed was in peoples conversations, one person spoke in French, and the other would respond in English, and then they would swap halfway through a sentence! Makes it hard for a sticky beak like me to eavesdrop on peoples juicy stories!
QUEBEC CITY: Couldn't find anyone who spoke English...and of course the one thing I left in Melbourne was my phrase book! I find myself making words up half the time...saying English words but making them sound French! The city is inside a wall, and stepping inside the walls is pretty much akin to stepping back in time a few centuries. I got a ride up with two Australian women (thank got I lost them for most of the day because they were driving me nuts!). The girl who hired the car was possibly the single worst driver.......EVER (knocked a few years off me I reckon!). After leaving the road and swerving sharply on several occasions (usually because she was distracted by a view or something), I asked her if she wanted me to take over (pretty bluntly suggesting she was a woeful driver really!). She insisted she was fine (obviously didn't get the hint!), so as she continued to drive, I started drafting up my will on my phone as an sms. With snow on the road, I wasn't too confidant really! BTW, it's all coming into the coffin with me, except my toe nail clippings, and my Billy Ray Cyrus shrine....they are up for grabs!
BACK TO THE USA: I got hammered by immigration on my return to the US. Pretty much had to pull out every document I had, to show to this absolute dumbarse prick, who couldn't understand how I was travelling without working. After about 20 minutes of interigating me (whilst the bus waited for me, and despite him seeing I had a ticket out of the US within 90 days), he finally allowed me in.....I have sinced crossed him off my chrismas card list (life doesn't come out of a manual....fuckwit!). Security is ridiculous in the USA, even going to the Statue of Liberty involved getting half naked!
BOSTON: A really nice city. It has the oldest subway system in America. Obviously built by the early Irish immigrants who must have started construction after a guiness or five! No part of the tunnel is ever straight, staying up straight as the train moves, is similar to being a beginner surfer or snowboarder! You have to hold on for dear life as the train swings around the twisting tunnels! Of course, I had a drink at Cheers (the bar from the sitcom, no Norm there though, and Kirstie Alley was shooting another Jenny Craig ad I think!), and went to an NBA game at the famous Boston Garden....and later again to one at Madison Square Garden in New York....great fun (except for having to stand up for the US anthem...get bent!)
Caught a dodgy Chinese bus from Boston to New York for $15 (not bad for a 4 hour journey!). You will recall my pleasant plane ride to Vegas with the Japanese businessmen and there incessant spitting. Well, if they were the three tenors, we had the whole orchestra on this ride! Keeping them all in time, was a lady in front of me, who kept burping (she excused herself after the first burp....which I guess must have covered her for the next 40 or so!). Canada is so much classier than the US, thats for sure!
NEW YORK CITY: What can I say....it is something else...frickin awesome! It is impossible to get bored in this city...its always on! Started out staying up in Harlem, which is full of skinny African-Americans in big arse puffy jackets, loitering on every street corner trying to intimidate you! Luckily I managed to avoid the odds, and not get mugged! The hostel provides complimentary stab/bullet proof vests, a Harlem slang phrase book, and the lyrics to a 50 Cent track, so I was armed with the nessesities! New Yorkers are....'interesting' people. Have seen heaps of random verbal wars between people out in public, saw one guy go nuts at another bloke for walking within a metre of him (what an ego...bloody yanks!), and if your a driver at the lights, and the light turns red, if you dont get moving withing 0.056 of a second, you will get honked repeatedly! Even though there is a $350 fine for honking (as is signposted everywhere!). Its good fun around China town. I went shopping and took part in a game of haggle the vendor. Good fun....they buckle so easy!
Well, I am getting ready to leave for Portugal now, gotta go brush up on that non-existant Portugese of mine!
The last few weeks have been all go go go, and has seen me make stops in Toronto, Niagara, Montreal, Quebec City, Boston and New York! Its been an awesome few weeks, and some of the highlights have been:
MONTREAL: I certainly didn't expect French to be so dominant here, all the signs and billboards are in French...quite a contrast from Toronto (even though its a few hours away!). One cool thing I observed was in peoples conversations, one person spoke in French, and the other would respond in English, and then they would swap halfway through a sentence! Makes it hard for a sticky beak like me to eavesdrop on peoples juicy stories!
QUEBEC CITY: Couldn't find anyone who spoke English...and of course the one thing I left in Melbourne was my phrase book! I find myself making words up half the time...saying English words but making them sound French! The city is inside a wall, and stepping inside the walls is pretty much akin to stepping back in time a few centuries. I got a ride up with two Australian women (thank got I lost them for most of the day because they were driving me nuts!). The girl who hired the car was possibly the single worst driver.......EVER (knocked a few years off me I reckon!). After leaving the road and swerving sharply on several occasions (usually because she was distracted by a view or something), I asked her if she wanted me to take over (pretty bluntly suggesting she was a woeful driver really!). She insisted she was fine (obviously didn't get the hint!), so as she continued to drive, I started drafting up my will on my phone as an sms. With snow on the road, I wasn't too confidant really! BTW, it's all coming into the coffin with me, except my toe nail clippings, and my Billy Ray Cyrus shrine....they are up for grabs!
BACK TO THE USA: I got hammered by immigration on my return to the US. Pretty much had to pull out every document I had, to show to this absolute dumbarse prick, who couldn't understand how I was travelling without working. After about 20 minutes of interigating me (whilst the bus waited for me, and despite him seeing I had a ticket out of the US within 90 days), he finally allowed me in.....I have sinced crossed him off my chrismas card list (life doesn't come out of a manual....fuckwit!). Security is ridiculous in the USA, even going to the Statue of Liberty involved getting half naked!
BOSTON: A really nice city. It has the oldest subway system in America. Obviously built by the early Irish immigrants who must have started construction after a guiness or five! No part of the tunnel is ever straight, staying up straight as the train moves, is similar to being a beginner surfer or snowboarder! You have to hold on for dear life as the train swings around the twisting tunnels! Of course, I had a drink at Cheers (the bar from the sitcom, no Norm there though, and Kirstie Alley was shooting another Jenny Craig ad I think!), and went to an NBA game at the famous Boston Garden....and later again to one at Madison Square Garden in New York....great fun (except for having to stand up for the US anthem...get bent!)
Caught a dodgy Chinese bus from Boston to New York for $15 (not bad for a 4 hour journey!). You will recall my pleasant plane ride to Vegas with the Japanese businessmen and there incessant spitting. Well, if they were the three tenors, we had the whole orchestra on this ride! Keeping them all in time, was a lady in front of me, who kept burping (she excused herself after the first burp....which I guess must have covered her for the next 40 or so!). Canada is so much classier than the US, thats for sure!
NEW YORK CITY: What can I say....it is something else...frickin awesome! It is impossible to get bored in this city...its always on! Started out staying up in Harlem, which is full of skinny African-Americans in big arse puffy jackets, loitering on every street corner trying to intimidate you! Luckily I managed to avoid the odds, and not get mugged! The hostel provides complimentary stab/bullet proof vests, a Harlem slang phrase book, and the lyrics to a 50 Cent track, so I was armed with the nessesities! New Yorkers are....'interesting' people. Have seen heaps of random verbal wars between people out in public, saw one guy go nuts at another bloke for walking within a metre of him (what an ego...bloody yanks!), and if your a driver at the lights, and the light turns red, if you dont get moving withing 0.056 of a second, you will get honked repeatedly! Even though there is a $350 fine for honking (as is signposted everywhere!). Its good fun around China town. I went shopping and took part in a game of haggle the vendor. Good fun....they buckle so easy!
Well, I am getting ready to leave for Portugal now, gotta go brush up on that non-existant Portugese of mine!
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