Watch this Space in 2011....more Rats Tales upcoming, including India...
Amos
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
The Final Tail
The Final Chapter
All good things come to an end. History has proven this time and time again. In TV it was the demise of Hey Dad, for the automobile industry it was the death of the Holden Torana, religious festivals such as $2 pint Tuesdays have disappeared, and the highly fashionable trend of wearing of socks with thongs is no more. Nothing lasts forever, and so it is that my 2 ½ year adventure has come to an end, but not without some final tales.
The last three months have been a blur, and in some ways, I am yet to catch myself up to the reality of my surroundings. It all started on my return to London, where I began my two month stint living (the dream) in hostel dorm rooms full time.
The Abodes
Living in a hostel full time is about as relaxing as going for a swim in the Amazon River. My main Hostel residence was in London Bridge. Having the middle bed of a triple story bunk (a 15 bed room no less!), I was based at this hostel the longest, mainly because of it’s proximity to work, but also because they had free Coco-Pops for breakfast. It was here I confiscated someone’s plastic bags, after a 10 minute period of bag rustling at 4am. These bags were used by me for a revenge rustling session the next night. The rustling battle grew as the nights went on, growing from plastic bags to garbage bags to popping bubble wrap (my brainchild), the latter a key weapon to my rustling victory.
Other hostels included a stay in a cockroach infested dump in Paddington, a week up in Hendon, where getting mugged is fashionable, and down in marijuana scented Brixton, where I was offered every drug under the sun per every ten steps. In between this all were stints on couches, my preferred sleeping method for 2009.
The Last Job
After continual hassling of recruitment agencies (who generally return your call 2 years after your initial contact), I finally landed a job doing the highly entertaining task of Data Entry. This job entailed completing a 33 second task, over and over again, from 9am to 5:30pm (not including my 30 min break, of which I regularly managed to squeeze 60 min into). The place I worked at was called the Countryside Alliance (a right-wing pro-fox hunting political organization…that’s right, I sold out in the name of money!), and we dealt we the following types of characters:
* The Earl of Portsmouth (who was outraged we would not refund him two quid)
* The Countess of Cornwall (who rang up, devastated that our mail to her addressed her as Countess of Cornwall, and not THE Countess of Cornwall)
* Lord John Gash (no bracketed comments needed)
* Rear Admiral Cecil (I cant provide his last name due to the Data Entrymans Code of Conduct and Confidentiality, and also due to the fact I can’t remember it)
This job lasted six weeks to my UK departure, and while it was possibly the most mundane job I will ever have in my life (and I have been a lifeguard), the people at the place were cool…except the one 50 year old guy who kept reciting jokes his mum told him (he lived with his mum)…I’m not even sure they were jokes, more statements with an awkward pause at the end…
London Life
All in all, my last two months in England were in some ways my best months there. I discovered the Jamaican backbeat of the Brixton markets, got lost in the Yorkshire Dales (only for a sheep to lead me to safety), bought a suit for $20 quid complete with clip on tie (breaking my $30 record of 2008), and saw a man walk down an ascending escalator at a tube stop, leading to a very comical unplanned cartwheel (never board escalators whilst playing Tetris on your phone!).
Other highlights included being questioned by a dodgy London detective about a shooting (that will teach me to participate in MOvember), heading up to Sunderland and Newcastle for a third and final West Ham away game with my mates from the North East, and stumbling onto a tube at Tottenham Court Road at 7am, and waking up at 10am as the train pulled back into Tottenham Court Road (unsure if I went for one lap or two!)
The Return
The decision to come home was made randomly and unplanned in approximately 10 minutes, and only a month before I left. Air Asia was my airline of choice, and after a wild farewell to London (which ended at 4am in a chicken shop with a leaking roof, discussing the history of leaky roofs with a mad Irishman), I boarded my flight very much from another planet!
Air Asia is a unique airline. No entertainment, you have to pay for your food, and legroom is ample…if you are 10 years of age. Luckily I had loaded my iPod with films, smuggled aboard a piece of stale bread, and pinched some legroom from the aisle (still got the bruises from the trolley bumps!)
None of my family knew I was coming home, and so it was, when my folks arrived back from work at night, I casually strolled out of the kitchen and said “about bloody time, I’m starving what’s for tea!” But to be fair, I was hungry, so it was a reasonable question to ask…
My first night’s sleep in Australia was only the second night in 10 months that I had slept in a room on my own!!! After a majority of the year spent roughing it up in hostels, on couches, in bus stops, on beaches, in hammocks, on concrete floors, in cars, in buses, on trains and on a slide in a playground, my first nights sleep was oh so sweet!!
Back To The Future
Now I find myself back in the same job as before I left. My first day back, I was asked this – “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while, have you been doing different shifts?”. That question instantly made 2 ½ years away evaporate! It almost seems like I never left!
It is now back to Uni for me, and back to saving money so I can find that eject button again at the years end, when I will be ready for my next adventure, and with it, my next tale!
See y’all soon
Mossy
All good things come to an end. History has proven this time and time again. In TV it was the demise of Hey Dad, for the automobile industry it was the death of the Holden Torana, religious festivals such as $2 pint Tuesdays have disappeared, and the highly fashionable trend of wearing of socks with thongs is no more. Nothing lasts forever, and so it is that my 2 ½ year adventure has come to an end, but not without some final tales.
The last three months have been a blur, and in some ways, I am yet to catch myself up to the reality of my surroundings. It all started on my return to London, where I began my two month stint living (the dream) in hostel dorm rooms full time.
The Abodes
Living in a hostel full time is about as relaxing as going for a swim in the Amazon River. My main Hostel residence was in London Bridge. Having the middle bed of a triple story bunk (a 15 bed room no less!), I was based at this hostel the longest, mainly because of it’s proximity to work, but also because they had free Coco-Pops for breakfast. It was here I confiscated someone’s plastic bags, after a 10 minute period of bag rustling at 4am. These bags were used by me for a revenge rustling session the next night. The rustling battle grew as the nights went on, growing from plastic bags to garbage bags to popping bubble wrap (my brainchild), the latter a key weapon to my rustling victory.
Other hostels included a stay in a cockroach infested dump in Paddington, a week up in Hendon, where getting mugged is fashionable, and down in marijuana scented Brixton, where I was offered every drug under the sun per every ten steps. In between this all were stints on couches, my preferred sleeping method for 2009.
The Last Job
After continual hassling of recruitment agencies (who generally return your call 2 years after your initial contact), I finally landed a job doing the highly entertaining task of Data Entry. This job entailed completing a 33 second task, over and over again, from 9am to 5:30pm (not including my 30 min break, of which I regularly managed to squeeze 60 min into). The place I worked at was called the Countryside Alliance (a right-wing pro-fox hunting political organization…that’s right, I sold out in the name of money!), and we dealt we the following types of characters:
* The Earl of Portsmouth (who was outraged we would not refund him two quid)
* The Countess of Cornwall (who rang up, devastated that our mail to her addressed her as Countess of Cornwall, and not THE Countess of Cornwall)
* Lord John Gash (no bracketed comments needed)
* Rear Admiral Cecil (I cant provide his last name due to the Data Entrymans Code of Conduct and Confidentiality, and also due to the fact I can’t remember it)
This job lasted six weeks to my UK departure, and while it was possibly the most mundane job I will ever have in my life (and I have been a lifeguard), the people at the place were cool…except the one 50 year old guy who kept reciting jokes his mum told him (he lived with his mum)…I’m not even sure they were jokes, more statements with an awkward pause at the end…
London Life
All in all, my last two months in England were in some ways my best months there. I discovered the Jamaican backbeat of the Brixton markets, got lost in the Yorkshire Dales (only for a sheep to lead me to safety), bought a suit for $20 quid complete with clip on tie (breaking my $30 record of 2008), and saw a man walk down an ascending escalator at a tube stop, leading to a very comical unplanned cartwheel (never board escalators whilst playing Tetris on your phone!).
Other highlights included being questioned by a dodgy London detective about a shooting (that will teach me to participate in MOvember), heading up to Sunderland and Newcastle for a third and final West Ham away game with my mates from the North East, and stumbling onto a tube at Tottenham Court Road at 7am, and waking up at 10am as the train pulled back into Tottenham Court Road (unsure if I went for one lap or two!)
The Return
The decision to come home was made randomly and unplanned in approximately 10 minutes, and only a month before I left. Air Asia was my airline of choice, and after a wild farewell to London (which ended at 4am in a chicken shop with a leaking roof, discussing the history of leaky roofs with a mad Irishman), I boarded my flight very much from another planet!
Air Asia is a unique airline. No entertainment, you have to pay for your food, and legroom is ample…if you are 10 years of age. Luckily I had loaded my iPod with films, smuggled aboard a piece of stale bread, and pinched some legroom from the aisle (still got the bruises from the trolley bumps!)
None of my family knew I was coming home, and so it was, when my folks arrived back from work at night, I casually strolled out of the kitchen and said “about bloody time, I’m starving what’s for tea!” But to be fair, I was hungry, so it was a reasonable question to ask…
My first night’s sleep in Australia was only the second night in 10 months that I had slept in a room on my own!!! After a majority of the year spent roughing it up in hostels, on couches, in bus stops, on beaches, in hammocks, on concrete floors, in cars, in buses, on trains and on a slide in a playground, my first nights sleep was oh so sweet!!
Back To The Future
Now I find myself back in the same job as before I left. My first day back, I was asked this – “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while, have you been doing different shifts?”. That question instantly made 2 ½ years away evaporate! It almost seems like I never left!
It is now back to Uni for me, and back to saving money so I can find that eject button again at the years end, when I will be ready for my next adventure, and with it, my next tale!
See y’all soon
Mossy
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